Beyond Fine or The Power of Checking in with Yourself

Practice checking in with yourself to improve well-being.

How are you? How you feeling today?

I bet your answer would be: “Thank you, I am fine!”

But are you really?

When was the last time you checked in with yourself? When was the last time you admitted to yourself you genuine feelings?

I know I am super guilty of not checking in with myself. I sort of float and swim and paddle. And then I start drawing. And then I get to shore and I take a breather. And then I go back in the water. Very rarely I stop midway and ask myself: are you feeling ok today? Is there anything that is bothering you?

For me it’s about this false belief about confidence and being a strong able woman. Even in my own head, without no one else listening in I tell myself lies about how I am. I am scared that if I admit to myself that I am not ok, that I am affected by this or that, that I might get even worse. Stupidly enough, I have this unhealthy belief that admitting something negative would double it in size and make it harder to deal with. And I have a degree in psychology, how ironic is that?

But it’s quite normal. As humans we are pretty delusional creatures. We create masks and identities that we use to protect ourselves from all the hurt the outside world might provide. And once those masks are on, we often forget how to get them off. And we start believing that we are those super-humans. But we are not. We are not super humans. We are just humans. Fragile and breakable and perishable…

So, back to checkin in with yourself.

It’s such a simple tool to aid wellbeing that anyone, even a 4-year-old could use it.

You don’t need anyone. You might want a mirror to see yourself, but it’s not necessary.

Turn it into a daily habit when you brush your teeth in the evening to ask yourself how you are.

Your immediate answer will be: ok.

Don’t listen to it.

Keep asking.

To help yourself, get a piece of paper and write “I FEEL” bank in the middle of it, as if you were making a mind map.

Allow thoughts about how you feel to trickle down the page.

Remember, no one is watching, no one is listening in. You could bin that paper afterwards if you want to.

But let those words come out.

How do you feel?

How does your head feel?

How does your body feel? Any aches? Pains? Discomfort?

What are you thinking about?

What was the worst thing that happened today?

What was the best thing that happened today?

How did it make you feel?

How tired are you? On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being super tired.

Keep going until you feel like you know how you are. Like you know enough about yourself to say – I feel this way – without being ashamed of feeling whatever you are feeling. Without apologising. Without worrying about what others might think.

How are you?

I feel super frazzled, thank you for asking. How about you?